Demon Storm: Belador book 5 Page 20

  Brina kept up her chatter and moved through the murky gray until she saw Lanna’s blond hair bright as a beacon. “There you are.”

  The minute Lanna’s face came into view Brina’s stomach fell. Lanna was terrified and Brina knew she’d put that look on her face. “I’m sorry child. I wasn’t meanin’ to scare you.”

  In that moment, Lanna showed the depth of her maturity, swiping the dampness from her cheeks and saying, “It’s okay. Just do not leave again. We may not be able to return if we don’t stay right here.”

  “I agree and I won’t be runnin’ off again. I don’t know what’s happenin’ to me. I can’t keep my thoughts straight.”

  Lanna’s fear changed swiftly to concern before she hid her worry with a patent Lanna smile. “You will be fine as soon as we return. Maybe try to relax. You found Tzader when you dreamed. He is very smart man to be Maistir and he cares for you. He will figure out way to find us.”

  Brina gave Lanna a hug. “You’re right. Tis foolish for me to spend energy worryin’ when it’s of no use. I have all the faith in my Beladors and Tzader. We need to stay close for when that happens, because it won’t be long before we’re goin’ back.”

  Now if Brina could only make herself believe that and not lose control again.

  Chapter 25

  The ride from Stone Mountain to midtown had been an arduous forty-five minutes, but Evalle finally parked.

  According to the clock in the dash of Storm’s SUV, it was just after two in the morning, so no one should be able to see a giant black jaguar climb out of the Land Cruiser that she’d tucked far up the driveway, next to his house.

  Once she had the side door to the kitchen open, Evalle stood back and waited for him to go inside. He trotted past her lightly, without hesitation. Sniffing his way, he loped through the kitchen to the living room then down the hall to the bedroom.

  Evalle held her breath, hoping the familiarity of being home would trigger the change from animal to man.

  He’d ignored her requests to climb into the SUV until she’d gotten frustrated and flat-out ordered him to get in. Then he’d jumped into the back, flopped down on the seat and pretty much ignored her all the way home.

  And that hurt more than her still-aching injuries.

  She locked the door and watched him emerge from the bedroom then retrace his steps back through the hall and turn into the living room.

  That’s where she found him sprawled on the Navajo blanket in front of the hearth, eyes closed.

  What now?

  When in doubt, ask about food. Shifting into another form burned calories and drained her. Had to be the same for him. “Are you hungry?”

  He lifted his jaguar head.

  She looked away, unable to hold his gaze. Not those red eyes that blamed her for losing any chance to reclaim his and his father’s souls.

  The fact that she’d committed the unforgivable crime to save his life evidently meant little to him at this point. Was not having his soul preventing him from returning to human form?

  She might never find out.

  But that didn’t stop her from wanting a chance to make that happen. She’d been waiting for him to stand or growl or something to tell her what he wanted. When he didn’t, she swept her gaze back to him. He’d laid his head down again. His chest rose and fell with steady breaths.

  He was healed. Maybe he didn’t need to eat.

  She could understand that he was exhausted from all the time he’d spent in Mitnal, but dammit, he could sleep once he shifted back into his human body.

  After all, how much worse could she make this than she already had? Might as well find out. Squatting down, she held the cloak closed, uncomfortable with being nude in front of him now. Until her Storm came back, it was too much like standing exposed in front of a stranger. “I know you’re in there, Storm. I’m not going to just let this go. You’re free of Mitnal and ... yes, Nadina, too.”

  He growled and whipped his head up so quickly she had to fight to stay balanced and not tumble backwards.

  He’d clearly understood those words so she pressed on. “Shift back into human form so we can talk. I don’t care if you yell at me, just please come back...” Her voice broke. She’d been holding the fear of losing him inside for so long that it bubbled up and threatened to strangle her. Clearing her throat, she said, “Please try to shift. If you won’t do it for me, then do it for you.”

  She needed a sign, anything that would prove he hadn’t lost the last link to this world.

  But she sat there for a full ten minutes in a stare down.

  He growled once more and laid his head back on the rug.

  Dismissing her.

  She stood up, holding back the dam that kept threatening to burst. Isak had offered her a normal life where she’d never have to go to demon hell to find him.

  Why couldn’t she want that?

  Because she loved the man trapped in that jaguar body.

  If Storm never came back to her, she still wouldn’t consider what Isak offered. She only wanted one man and that was never going to change. She knew that.

  But Storm wasn’t even trying.

  Where was the man who had found her in a South American jungle when no one else could? Where was the man who had held her tenderly and shown her what it was to be loved? Where was the man who had vowed to kill Isak if he touched her?

  Talking more to herself than to Storm, she said, “You can hate me for losing your soul, but I’m not quitting on you. The Storm I know is in there.”

  His tail curled toward his body. That was it for a reply.

  Shaking her head, she walked down the hall. She needed rest. Just a battle nap would help her heal and rejuvenate physically. If she couldn’t bring Storm back, she might never rejuvenate emotionally.

  Evalle, can you hear me? Trey asked, his voice coming into her mind.

  She paused in the bedroom. Yes. Glad your telepathy still works even if your voice isn’t strong.

  No kidding. Better than nothing, which is what everyone else has. It stands that of all the Beladors you’re still the only one able to reach me back. In case this fails at some point, first tell me if you’ve found Storm?

  How could she answer that? I know where he is, but I don’t have him to take with me to Treoir yet. I still have two days.

  No, you don’t. Tzader thinks Brina’s hologram is going to vanish completely in the next twenty-four hours. Maybe sooner.

  What happened?

  Tzader doesn’t know. He just said the pieces are disappearing faster.

  Evalle held her pounding head. Okay, I’ll step up my plan.

  What plan? Her only plan was stretched out in the living room with no way to communicate. And, oh, don’t forget the demon eyes that would give him away. Macha would fry both of them the minute she got one look at Storm even if he could talk.

  Did you find a phone?

  She’d looked for one in Storm’s house, but she hadn’t searched the Land Cruiser, thinking it would be obvious if it was there, sitting on the console or plugged in charging. No phone yet, but I might get my hands on one soon.

  Okay, just give me a shout any and every way you can. I’ve got a secure setup to reach Sen.

  Having to face Sen with Storm in demon mode would round out this crapfest. Got it.

  One more thing, Evalle. There’s a Medb problem in the city.

  I heard a about it from my Nightstalker.

  Trey said, I have news you wouldn’t have heard from a ghoul, because we’re keeping it quiet. Macha was called into some big powwow with the Tribunal. Tzader doesn’t know when she’ll be back. He said she believes VIPER is going to boot us from the coalition.

  That’s insane.

  Yeah, I said the same thing, but Tzader explained that with the Medb flooding into the mortal world, VIPER might be preparing for a battle and the Beladors could be the weakest link instead of their greatest power.

  Wouldn’t the Medb love that? A war while the Bela
dors were getting weaker by the hour. She asked Trey, Don’t you wonder why the Medb haven’t overrun the city with warlocks and witches?

  Don’t wish that.

  I’m not. Just saying this makes no sense to have a handful here when they could do so much more damage with an army.

  That’s the crazy part. They aren’t doing any damage. Sen thinks it’s fine that they’re here because the Medb are killing demons. It’s like the world got turned upside down.

  I heard about them killing demons, but I’m not sold that the Medb have turned over a new leaf.

  Trey signed off and withdrew from her mind.

  Evalle stood there, forcing her knees not to buckle under the weight of so much responsibility and loss.

  Quinn lost Kizira in the battle after Kizira had agreed to fight alongside Evalle for a chance at being with Quinn.

  Tzader was losing Brina every second that Evalle failed to bring the Storm she believed could help them.

  And I’ve probably already lost Storm.

  What had she, Tzader and Quinn done to piss off the Fates?

  She had to rest for just a minute.

  Exhaustion and blood loss were taking their toll. She sank to the floor and leaned back against the wall, unable to face that bed without Storm even if she were clean enough to consider taking advantage of it.

  Closing her eyes, Evalle tried calling up her beast energy to heal her wounds again. She could feel it trickle through her. Too whipped to do battle even with her own body, she floated in a mental fog.

  Despair came out in a weak whisper. “I can’t do this alone. I’m losing the battle to save the person I love and help my friends who need me.”

  Kai’s voice pushed into her thoughts with sharp clarity. “What’s happened? I can’t call Storm to me.”

  Evalle stilled at the unexpected voice then opened her eyes to find herself in another realm seated across from Storm’s spirit guide. Warmth hugged her tired body even though no sun floated in the sky, only puffy clouds and a soft breeze that gently ruffled leaves on nearby trees.

  “I don’t understand,” Kai continued. “I can see his jaguar in the human world. He has always spoken to me even in animal form.”

  Running a hand through her hair, Evalle explained, “I brought him back from Mitnal, but I had to kill Nadina to protect Storm.”

  Kai covered her mouth with a delicate hand.

  Yep, that’s me. The person who destroyed Storm’s last hope for humanity. Even if he could forgive her for losing his soul, he couldn’t live with what she’d done to his father. She wasn’t sure she could live with it.

  Evalle swallowed regret and struggled to push words past her thick throat. “I’ve lost Storm’s soul forever. I believe he’s in there, hidden inside the jaguar, but he isn’t shifting back to human form.”

  “You are the only one who can bring him back.”

  “Evidently not.”

  “Yes, you are his mate.” Kai sounded as if she’d been a fierce protector in her time. “If the witch doctor’s blood grips him, then you are the only reason he will return.”

  Add failing him as a mate to the list.

  Evalle rubbed her eyes and told Kai, “If I am, or more correctly was, his mate, he’s either forgotten me or now hates me for killing Nadina. I thought for sure he recognized me when he destroyed a demon who was about to kill me in Mitnal, but now I’m thinking he was just in killing mode. That’s what demons do. They kill.”

  “If only we could talk to him,” Kai said with a deep sadness, “We’d know how to help him.”

  Evalle had a momentary urge to reach for Kai’s hands to comfort the spirit guide, but she wasn’t sure touching was allowed in this realm. Storm was the one who had taught Evalle that touch could be comforting instead of painful.

  She shook that off and said, “When I traveled the first time to Mitnal and found him, Storm was in human form. He told me then that once he turned into his jaguar then failed to shift right back that his demon blood from Nadina would take over. He wouldn’t be able to return to his human self. That he would be gone ... forever. He’s been jaguar for the past hour I know of and I have no idea how long before that.”

  The pain of saying those words crushed her heart.

  How can I live without Storm in my world?

  “If that is the case, Evalle, then you cannot leave him this way. Storm would never want to remain a demon. You must free him.”

  That took a moment to sink in. “You want me to kill Storm?” Evalle fought against the bile climbing her throat. “I can’t do that.”

  “Would you want to remain a demon forever? Would you rather those with VIPER or some other being found Storm and committed worse upon him?”

  “What could be worse?”

  “There are others more powerful than Nadina who would take control of someone with Storm’s powers.”

  Like Adrianna, but Evalle couldn’t see the Sterling witch as a threat to Storm. “I won’t let that happen.”

  Kai’s lips softened with understanding. “You must realize now that Storm most likely fought that demon for you because once you killed Nadina you took control of Storm. You became his new master.”

  Thanks for destroying what hope I’d clung to that his fighting the demon had been a tiny sign he still cared. Evalle couldn’t even consider the idea of being anyone’s master. She started thinking out loud. “I’ll keep him safe. I’ll take him to my underground apartment and–”

  “No,” Kai said, cutting her off. “That’s no different than putting him in a cage and you would never be able to have anyone around him. Not even your little gargoyle.”

  How did Kai know about Feenix? “Storm wouldn’t–”

  “Storm would never harm that gargoyle, but the demon sleeping in Storm’s house isn’t the man you knew, if what you’ve told me is true.”

  Everything was falling apart.

  Kill Storm? Watch the life slide out of his body?

  A scream started building inside and Evalle wasn’t sure if she could hold it back. She couldn’t do it. Save Storm by killing him? She’d sooner harm Tzader or Quinn.

  And if she couldn’t save Storm then there was no hope of bringing Brina or Lanna back, which would destroy Tzader and cripple Quinn. If the warrior queen didn’t return to the castle, all the Beladors faced destruction in a war with the Medb.

  Casualties kept piling up around Evalle’s feet, because she was failing everyone who depended on her.

  Kai said, “I am sorry that I have nothing to offer you for your tribe or your Belador queen. If you cannot bring Storm back to his human body, you owe it to him to not leave him as he is.”

  Kai’s face swirled into a blur along with the scenery, then everything faded.

  Evalle sat there numb from pain overload. Tears ran down her face. Give her a legion of demons to kill and she’d face them to protect Storm, Tzader, Quinn ... all her Beladors, but she’d rather use her blade to cut out her own heart than touch Storm with deadly intent.

  The scream crawled higher up her throat.

  Allowing it to escape would be admitting defeat, but she felt defeated. She covered her face and sobbed. How could she finally have found her place with the Beladors and a man who loved her only to face watching her world shatter around her?

  A jaguar roared.

  She clamped her hands over her ears to dull the sound of fury.

  She’d always loved how beautiful Storm was in jaguar form, but right now the longer he remained as an animal just drove home the fact that her Storm was gone.

  He roared again.

  She jumped up and ran into the living room, screaming at him. “Stop it! Stop being a jaguar. You are better than this Storm.” Her voice cracked and tears streamed down her face. “You are not a demon.”

  He studied her as one would a piece of furniture. No recognition in those eyes. Sitting up like a well-mannered house cat that happened to weigh as much as the sofa, he continued to watch her meltdown withou
t any reaction.

  She swiped at her tears, but the damned things kept leaking out. Would they ever end? She’d never been one to cry, but she’d never lost something as precious as Storm and his love.

  She whispered in a voice too tired to hold back anything. “I’m sorry about your soul. I’m so, so sorry. I know you’re in there. Why aren’t you trying to come back? Just do it and I’ll do anything to fix this.”

  You owe it to him to not leave Storm as a demon.

  Kai’s words scraped through Evalle’s mind with the jagged edge of broken glass.

  Would Storm do that for Evalle if she’d been turned into a demon?

  No, he’d fight with his last breath to save her. He’d always known how to get through to her. He’d laid siege to her heart that had never had a chance against his love.

  That truth drove her to stiffen her resolve. She would give him no less than he would do for her.

  If only she knew how to reach him.

  She needed a shower to clear her mind. She would not quit without a fight. What she wouldn’t give to go back to the last time they were in the bedroom together and he’d carried her to the shower.

  After he’d loved her for hours.

  Storm was a sexual man who couldn’t keep his hands off her once he’d broken through her emotional walls. A fierce lover.

  An idea burrowed into her thoughts.

  She took in Storm’s jaguar face and wondered if she could force a change by dangling something he wanted in front of him.

  She had no idea how to act sexy and felt stupid trying this, but if it caused him to shift back to human she’d dance naked through VIPER. She unhooked the robe and let it puddle at her feet, leaving her as naked as the day she was born.

  Still no flicker of interest.

  Seriously? There went what little ego she possessed.

  Maybe she should try that in the middle of a room full of men. Would that get his attention?

  Kai had to be shaking her head and muttering about Evalle being delusional or in denial.

  His spirit guide was probably right, but Evalle was just as possessive of Storm as he was of her. He’d once made it clear that she belonged to him and that worked both ways. She could be just as stubborn as he was.